Feel Everything

How You Feel Reveals Who You Are

Happy New Year and I hope you enjoyed a restful and restorative festive break.

To kick the year off I'm delving into the value of feeling your feelings.

Having grown up in a family where difficult emotions were mostly covered up, ignored and brushed under the carpet, it's not been a topic I've felt particularly comfortable exploring.

However, finding your voice means getting to know yourself and what I've discovered is that one of the most useful pieces of information you can draw on is your feelings.

Feelings reveal what you like and don't like, what you find frustrating, disappointing, joyful, exciting, amazing and awesome.

Feelings are a never ending source of useful information about who you are.

Over the Summer I've been reading Brene Brown's new book Atlas of the Heart, and one of the points she highlights is the value of using your feelings as beacons rather than barriers.

Quoting Harvard psychologist Susan David, she says emotions tell us which situations to engage with and which to avoid - they help us identify what we care about and motivate us to make positive changes.

Turning toward your feelings, rather than away from them, is therefore a useful way to get to know yourself.

I took this perspective recently when I noticed I was feeling angry about someone moving something from my desk and putting it away. When I stopped to ask myself why I felt angry about such a seemingly small thing, I realised the action had crossed one of my boundaries - I don't like people coming into my personal space and moving things.

By noticing this I was able to let them know I appreciated they wanted to put this item away, however my desk is part of my personal space so in the future, I would prefer if they didn't move anything that's on there. Previously, I would have spent a lot of time stuck in my anger, trying to ignore it and making excuses for the person as a way to avoid speaking up.

Embracing and reflecting on your emotions increases self awareness. Sharing these reflections with others then helps them get to know you, in turn contributing to more authentic relationships.

Try seeing your feelings as light beams of information, illuminating key information about you, rather than as barriers to be avoided or covered up. Thank them for coming, reflect on them and ask what they are communicating to you.

What does how you feel, reveal about who you are?