Managing Interruptions
Staying in your power and reclaiming the floor
One of the nuances of human conversation is our tendency to interrupt each other when we speak.
We find it hard to contain our excitement at contributing, adding or providing another opinion so we interject when we're listening to someone else speak.
These interruptions are a normal part of the dance that is human conversation.
However, there are times when you'll be sharing something important and an interruption can become an unwanted source of distraction.
You might be contributing a new idea at work, providing feedback about someone's behaviour or sharing your feelings in a relationship. In these scenarios, interruptions can throw you off track and may mean you lose influence, you're not heard and you don't get the outcome you're looking for.
In her book Nice Girls Don't Speak Up or Stand Out, author Dr Lois Frankl offers some useful advice about effectively managing interruptions so you hold the floor when you speak, exert your influence and have your voice is heard.
Here are three ideas from her book that may be of value:
1. Recognise not all interruptions are bad
Sometimes people interrupt because they are so excited and enthusiastic about what you're saying that they can't help but speak up in agreement. They'll say things like "I agree" or "great idea I think we should run with that" or "my thoughts exactly".
In this case, smile, thank them, acknowledge the support and carry on completing what you were saying.
2. Re-start or re-schedule when interruptions become disruptions
If you're speaking and you experience an interruption such as a phone going off, someone taking a call or allowing another person to distract them, suggest you begin again when everyone is settled and focused. If disruptions are persistent, you may like to ask for the meeting or conversation to be rescheduled to a more suitable time when the person or people you are talking to are able to give you the focus and attention you deserve.
3. Interrupt the interrupter
Verbal interruptions that cut you off when you're speaking, or challenge what you are saying before you have finished sharing your thoughts, can be most challenging to manage. In this case, the interruption is often an effort to detract from you and your message, and re-orientate the attention toward the interrupter. They may disagree with what you are saying, or feel they have something valuable to add that simply can't wait until you have finished. In this case, it pays to stand your ground and gracefully interrupt the interrupter.
Useful phrases to consider include:
"Excuse me George, I hadn't finished sharing my thoughts. Let me complete what I was saying and I'll hand over to you." OR
"Hang on, before we move on, let me finish what I was saying".
If you can't interrupt the interrupter, once they've finished what they were saying, try this:
"Thanks for sharing your thoughts George - I appreciate your contribution. Let me continue what I was saying."
When you stand up to speak, or make a contribution in a conversation, speak with the intention of finishing what it is you planned to say.
Don't let interruptions silence your voice.
As writer Vera Nazarian said:
“A choir is made up of many voices, including yours and mine. If one by one all go silent then all that will be left are the soloists.
Don’t let a loud few determine the nature of the sound. It makes for poor harmony and diminishes the song.”
Plant your feet firmly on the ground, acknowledge interruptions, manage them with grace, then carry on speaking. You deserve to be heard and your message matters.