Witness Yourself
You can't change what you can't see
I was speaking with a client recently who was sharing feelings of frustration connected to her personal journey of change.
Observing her patterns as part of our work together meant she had become more conscious of her daily habits and behaviours. As a result, she was navigating a slight feeling of despair.
Hearing this in her voice, I reassured her she was perfectly positioned for change.
The reason?
You can't change what you can't see.
To evolve into a more certain, more confident and more authentic version of yourself, the starting point is to witness yourself.
Revelation of your habits, thoughts and nuances, must come before evolution. You need to stare yourself down before you can lift yourself up.
As author of I Am That, Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj said it's only when we bring what's unconscious into our conscious awareness that we have the ability to dissolve it.
As long as habits, thoughts and feelings remain unconscious, they will continue to persist and impact your daily choices and behaviours.
This means the more you can witness yourself, the better positioned you are to create personal change.
One of the keys is to ride the squirm - the uncomfortable feeling you get when you start to see what you're doing, hear how you sound, notice your words and observe your behaviours.
A useful way to do this is to use curiousity as your anchor.
Instead of recoiling and avoiding, turn toward the thing you don't want to see. Witness it. Play with it. Turn it inside out and learn from it. Then, use your insights as guidance for what to do next.
To get you started, here are some thought experiments that may be useful:
Instead of "OMG! I'm such an idiot!" try "Isn't that interesting - I wonder why I responded that way?"
Instead of "I can't believe I did that again!" try "Isn't that curious - I wonder what's behind it?"
Instead of "I'll never be able to change" try "I wonder what small, do-able and repeatable step I can take to start breaking that down and moving myself forward?"
I'd love to know how you go if you try any of these, or if you have any insights of your own you'd like to share. Simply reply to this email.
As Socrates said, "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom."