Access Points to Confidence - #5 Stretch Yourself

Stretching yourself is how you grow.

It’s by nudging the edges of your knowledge, your physical ability, your palette, your conversations, the comfort of your environment or your ability to forgive, trust and believe that you experience something new.

Over time, expanding yourself in this way provides an accumulation of evidence that you can do, say or be more than you otherwise thought possible.

Stretching vs Leaping

Stretching yourself by nudging a little bit further is often more accessible than taking a big leap into the unknown.

Leaping, or the Nike strategy of ‘just do it!’ is often recommended as a way to build confidence. The idea is that when you find the courage to leap, you’ll feel more confident.

For example, Sheila Vijeyarasa in her book Brave - Courageously Live Your Truth says “you will know that the authentic life you are seeking can only be reached when you leap.”

What I have found however is that while leaping is certainly a pathway to confidence, the courage needed to take the leap is often hard to access.

Just like motivation, courage can often go missing when you need it the most.

Leaping Stimulates the Nervous System

One of the reasons is that the fear associated with leaping puts your nervous system into overdrive. When your nervous system is on high alert, it becomes harder to think clearly and to take informed and calm action.

It’s also easier to avoid taking any action at all.

What this means is that triggering your nervous system can push you back into the zone of comfort giving you a sense that you’re ‘stuck’.

Curiousity Can Be More Accessible

Where leaping requires courage, stretching requires a simple sense of curiosity.

Nudging yourself means asking questions like:

  • I wonder what would happen if I made that call?

  • I wonder if my body could turn a little further?

  • I wonder how my colleague would respond if I asked that question?

  • I wonder if I could forigve rather than hold onto that grudge?

  • I wonder what would happen if I trusted my intuition?

Curiosity and wonder, nudging and stretching are access points to confidence as they enable you to take small, consistent action.

Gracefully and gently stretch yourself and you will start moving through the hard things that otherwise keep you stuck, giving you a new sense of freedom, joy and confidence.

Sharon Natoli