Over-explaining
Minimising turbulent babbling
One of the habits that gets in the way of clear communication is over-explaining – using too many words or including too much detail before making your point.
It happens when you're nervous, when you feel a need to defend your position, or when you're overly committed to making sure the other person understands you.
While research shows our favourite topic of conversation is ourselves (we spend 60% of our time talking about this topic), if our self focus extends to over-explaining, justifying or seeking acceptance by raining words on our listener, we lose the ability to connect and communicate effectively.
Rather than making your point clearly and concisely, you end up in the midst of verbal diarrhoea. An eye roll, or a glance at the clock, is a sure sign your listener has switched off.
Given this, if you find yourself over-explaining – getting swept away in your own turbulent babbling and losing the attention of your listener as you do, here are five strategies that can help:
Think before you speak. Get really clear on your point. A useful question to ask yourself is 'what's the point I'm trying to make?'
Slow down. Pace yourself so your mind and body remain connected to your words.
Pay attention to how you are feeling before you start speaking. Take a pause if you feel anxious, afraid or stressed.
Resist the urge to keep going. Once you've made your point, stop speaking.
Keep breathing.
Sometimes it's challenging to simply say yes or no without embellishing your response. However remember you don't always need to explain yourself to others - you can simply choose. Create more time and space in your day by making your point, then moving on.