Access Points to Confidence #9 - Accept Yourself
Self-acceptance is not only an access point to confidence, it’s an access point to greater connection with yourself and others, which in turn enhances happiness, health and wellbeing according to research by the University of South Wales in the UK.
Defining self acceptance as a complete acceptance of your internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions, the research suggests that self-acceptance helps you meet your experiences as they are, rather than trying to change them.
It’s about sinking back into your own skin, rather than exhausting yourself trying to get out of it.
Meeting yourself where you’re at involves receptivity and openness, rather than avoidance and denial. It about accepting your strengths as well as your weaknesses and being okay with all of it.
The Challenge with “I’m OK Being Me!”
Self acceptance can be challenging as it’s an orientation that runs counter to much of today’s consumer culture.
Lack of self-acceptance drives the sale of things you think you need, to fill a gap you believe you have, that turns out not to be the case.
Advertisements constantly remind you that you need more stuff to be worthy and acceptable.
According to Jonah Sachs, an advertising executive at Free Range Studios, the average person is exposed to 3500 advertisements a day and the majority of them tell you if you don’t buy this product you’re not going to be rich enough, smart enough or hot enough.
As soon as you wake up in the morning and turn the radio, news or TV on, or step outside your house, you’re being told how deficit and lame you are!
Facebook Lifestyles Add to the Challenge
In his best-selling book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, author Mark Manson adds to the story. He says the internet and social media often showcase the extremes of human life and this has conditioned us to believe exceptionalism is the new norm.
Thinking that most people live an exceptional life, feeds an even bigger gap between the normal humdrum everyday life you’re likely experiencing, and where you think you ‘should’ be. You start believing that your ‘average’ life is somehow not good enough.
As a result, you feel less confident.
Self-acceptance is the antidote. It helps you let go of the striving, searching and seeking and to simply embrace where you are.
Self acceptance means:
Recognising your strengths and your weaknesses and embracing all of them.
Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and failings
Recognising you are human (meaning there’s no such thing as perfection)
Being compassionate toward yourself
Being mindful of your needs and emotions
Learning from failures or challengs rather than interpreting them as meaning you are somehow faulty
Surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are
The bottom line?
You are enough. You don’t need to get anywhere, do anything or become anyone to have value, You are already enough. Believing this is Access Point #9.