Access Points to Confidence #10 - Fail Fast

Confidence is a key ingredient for shifting from ruminating about what you want to say, to actually saying it.

It’s this knowing that sits behind this series of Access Points to Confidence I’ve been sharing over these past 10 weeks.

As Coco Chanel said:

One of the most courageous acts is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

It’s often the ‘aloud’ part however that can trip you up. It’s the action bit - actually getting the words out of your mouth and into the world.

In their book The Confidence Code, authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman define confidence as:

“The stuff that turns thoughts into actions.”

I love this defnition as often, when you’re referring to someone as being confident, you’re observing an action they’ve taken - like speaking up at work, volunteering for a new project, or to give a speech at an upcoming social function.

Taking action sits in contrast to having something to say but holding back while you perfect your words, or wait for the right time to speak or double guess yourself before putting yourself forward.

If you’re thinking, but not speaking, the only person your thoughts will influence are you. Holding back limits your capacity for influence, and therefore gets in the way of moving forward and leading at work, in community and at home.

Fear of Failure as a Barrier to Action

One of the thoughts that gets in the way of taking the action to speak is fear of failure.

When you’re afraid of the consequences of not getting it right, stuffing up your words, not speaking clearly or fogetting what you wanted to say, you begin ruminating - and this rumination leads to perfectionism and procrastination.

It therefore makes sense that putting yourself in the pathway of failure could be a useful strategy for turning this around.

Get Comfortable with Failure

To move beyond the fear of failure and into the realms of action, start experimenting with bite-sized failings.

Speak off the cuff in a meeting, give a presentation without notes or try embroidery (I’m currently bite-sized failing as this - as well as crow pose in yoga :-)).

If you experience small failures regularly, because you took a risk and gave something a go, failing begins to feel more comfortable. With this, it becomes less of a barrier to action.

Let go of having to get everything right, learn from your mistakes and you’ll adapt accordingly.

Happy failing as an access point to greater self-confidence!